The next story isn’t about one guy in particular (this blog is really just supposed to be about the humorous happenings of my life. Not necessarily my boyfriends but you needed a little background.) it’s about two separate trips to Vegas.
Vegas:
1. The first time I went to Vegas (after the age of 21) (I spent some time there as a kid) It was December of 2006. I went with my childhood friend Candace. We had been friends since we were 8 years old. Grew up in the same kind of family and always went on each others family vacations (including one to Vegas) so it was only natural that we experience grown up Las Vegas together. It was going to be a great weekend! The first night we were there we were going to meet up with some friends that lived out there. A couple of boys we had grown up going to church with. They were at a holiday party so we agreed to meet at the bar at the Hard Rock. Now, before we went all of our friends warned us that it was not like home and no one would be buying our drinks or giving us anything for free. As we are both attractive girls, this did happen often. We were fully prepared to fend for ourselves, but not prepared for the weekend we were about to have. As we were sitting at the bar and planning our escapade a young man came up to talk to us. He was standing directly over our shoulders so we turned toward each other to talk to him. He was nice enough. Kind of a nerd. He was a dentist that lived in Vegas and for some reason he was completely dumbfounded that we were just there for a quick little vacation. He could not wrap his head around it. “So you two are really just here for fun, and that’s it?”. “Yes, for the hundredth time. Why is that so hard to believe?”. ” Well, normally when you see two attractive young ladies sitting at a bar they are working. “( here we are the ones are who dumbfounded) “excuse me?” “I mean, that’s usually the case……so are you working?”. Of course we were disgusted and appalled. We were not prostitutes and could not believe his accusation. We quickly turned our backs to him and found the male bartender standing in front of us laughing so hard he was crying. He had been listening the whole time and was so amused he ended up buying all of our drinks. Take that friends at home!!! The rest of the evening was great. We met our friends and they took us to the grand opening of a new club that was impossible to get into. In true Vegas form, one of them was dating a waitress who took us in past all of the VIPS to our own private table on the dance floor. They wouldn’t let us pay for anything all night (ha again!). We danced and drank and had a blast. I lost my camera at some point but it did not seem that trivial at 5 am when we finally left. The next day we returned to that hotel to see if anyone had found my camera. Low and behold some good Samaritan found it on the dance floor and took it to the lost and found. This was during the first days of digital cameras so I was shocked that it was turned in and not stolen. They didn’t even take any pictures of themselves. You have some good karma coming your way! We celebrated with a dinner and quickly took a cab to the Palms. I left my cell phone in the cab so I was sure that the night was ruined. I am not a person who loses things very often. I felt like a complete idiot. We spent the next few hours playing craps with some rich cowboys (the rodeo was in town) who supplied all of our gambling money (ha again!). When we had lost all of his money we decided to move on. He had the pit boss take us to Rain. The club with the line wrapped all through the casino. He took us past the line, to the VIP section where we drank free all night. (my friends at home clearly didn’t know what they were talking about) It was fun and exciting until a weirdo kept trying to rub my feet. We left there and were walking through the casino and a young man jumped through the slot machines and tried to lure us up to The Ghost Bar with the promise of free booze. Of course we went. We were on a roll. We spent the rest of the evening (and by evening I mean until the sun came up) with these two lads. There were from a town a few hours from us and they were very attractive and weren’t hurting in the money department. It was a great night. When we parted ways we only had enough time to get to our hotel and change before we had to check out. Sleeping was not an option. We packed our things and dropped them off with the concierge and decided to go find a dark corner to nap in. We had a red eye flight that night and were out of options. We ended up sleeping in 30 minute shifts on a bench in the back hallway of a neighboring hotel. It was better than nothing. Around 1 pm the boys from the night before called and we agreed to meet up with them. We went on a day drinking binge that was like no other. Bouncing around from casino to casino drinking as much as we possibly could. This was the day that I was introduced to a mind eraser. This love affair has not yet died and I fear it never will. I think the low point of the day was when I was kicked out of the New York New York for spitting in the river. I’m not really that proud of it, but if you have ever been to vegas you know it is not an easy thing to get kicked out of a casino. Especially at 3 pm. We spent a few more hours with them before heading to the airport. There we slept as much as we could at the terminal before boarding. A kind man who was getting on our flight woke us up to tell us to board the plane. The flight home was rough and sleepless(for me). The drive home from the airport was even worse. We both ended up with the flu for a week after. You win this round vegas.
**we went and visited those boys that we met once we got home. They were a lot of fun and we went everywhere in a limo. I didn’t even mind that their pillowcases were literally t-shirts. But they were 4 hours away. Sadly the love affair did not last.
2. In the summer of 2007 my friend Mary and I went to vegas for 5 days. I cannot stress to you enough how much I do not recommend going for that many days. We flew in on the 4th of July. Our plane landed around 9 am. We dropped our bags at our hotel and went straight to the pool. It was so crowded and hot we lasted all of 30 minutes before heading inside. We decided that champagne and shots of patron were the only way to go. This s is how we spent our day. In the lobby bar thinking that we were the two smartest women alive. We were so drunk and had asked if our room was ready so many times they ended up upgrading us to a new suite in the brand new tower. I don’t know if it was out of pity or sheer annoyance. Either way, I’ll take it! We decided to “nap” and be fresh for that night. We slept through the night, fireworks and all, and woke up the next morning. Needless to say, July in Vegas is brutal and it was a record breaking heat that summer. We spent every day light hour in our room eating room service and watching bad tv. The next night we ventured out to The Hard Rock. It wasnt particularly busy (maybe because it was wednesday). Now, when I drink Mary calls me “Yes Avery”. Usually because I agree to do whatever assanine stunt she puts me up to. Not that night. I was “Yes Avery” to everyone but her. She’s not much of a gambler so when I started playing craps she was super bored. I was having a great time. Drinking and yelling and jumping around. Craps is such a fun game. I kept sending her to get me more money from the ATM when I would run out. I even had a cute little croupier helping me out when the alcohol took over. I was up a few hundred dollars when she took my chips and told me we were leaving. I tipped the croupier and threw in a little extra, my number. I thought he was adorable and so nice for helping me. Turns out he looked like Chris Kattan. JUST. LIKE. HIM. We cashed in our chips and headed out the door. Just our luck, a bachelor party was on their way in. We made a quick U-turn. They were a fun rowdy group of guys that liked to party. Hey! Me too! I do have a small problem of taking mens shirts off when I am drunk. Especially if they snap. So I spent most of my time removing their shirts. And trust me it was totally worth it. I zeroed in on one who was tall dark and handsome. We were making out like fiends. I convinced him to come back to my hotel. With his friend in tow for Mary. When we got back to the hotel his friend had a change of heart and wanted to leave. Something about a girlfriend back home. We parted ways and Mary and I headed to our room. We were on the 30somethingth floor. When we got there we realized that we had lost our room key. Instead of going back down to the front desk we called security to let us in. We’d deal with the key situation later. They told us to wait by our room. We sat in front of the door and were completely passed out in 10 seconds. We were woken up, what seemed like a few hours later by a female security guard. This is how that convo went.
Guard: Did you ladies get locked out?
Mary:(with her make up smeared and one eye shut) AT LEAST WE’RE NOT NAKED (imagine in a drunk slurring voice that might be trying to sound smooth enough to hit on you)
Me: was it absolutely necessary for you to say that?
Guard: Get some rest girls. It looks like you need it.
That week there was an NBA tournament going on and we later found out that the Boston Celtics were staying on our floor and had an early practice that morning. I am sure there are pics of us passed out in the hallway floating around out there somewhere. I would love to see them! We spent the next morning laughing about our adventures of the night before. I did not realize just how drunk I was until this conversation:
Mary: Yeah, that guy made out with was pretty cute but he kinda looked like that guy from the Harold and Kumar movies.
Me: the Indian one?
Mary: no the other one
Me: Why would you say that? That guy was Asian
Mary: So was the guy you were making out with
Me: I’m pretty sure I would know whether or not the guy I’m making out with Asian or not. Plus, he was tall. (he really was. I had heels on and still had to look up)
This argument went for a few more minutes until Mary got out the digital camera to show me pics from the night before. He was in fact Asian and really really hot. This will forever be the night that I was so drunk I didn’t know the ethnicity of the person I was making out with. I still use this as a judge of how drunk I am. If I can’t figure out what race they are, I know I need to go home.
The next night we met up with a friend of mine that lived in Vegas at the time and his roommate. The roommate was by far the most unhappy person I’ve ever met in my life. So of course I was instantly attracted to him. The night was pretty uneventful until it was coming to an end. The the roommate and I had a silent agreement that we were going to have sex. We just didn’t know where. We ended up doing it on the floor in the hallway leading from the bathroom to the room. It was terrible. Not enjoyable in any way shape or form. I pretended to pass out just so he would stop. And then leave. Immediately. I never seen or spoken to him again. And I am totally ok with that. However, the friend of mine that he lived with won’t ever let me forget it.
The next night we met one of our friends that worked for one of the NBA teams and was in town, Andy. It was a great reunion. We drank and danced and had an amazing time. He is an awesome person and I always have a blast with him. He and I used to have a little thing for each other. At that point it had never gone past making out, so we did lots of that. He stayed at our hotel that night and the next morning we had to check out of ours and had a red eye that night (clearly I had not learned my lesson yet) so we took all of our stuff to his room. The check in process was long a grueling and we were dying. We finally made it to lunch where one of the players met us. We were telling him stories about the night before about trying to steal vases in the hall way only to figure out that they weren’t really really heavy but actually glued to the table. Yeah, took about 6 tries before we got that one. Lunch was fine. We were all a little “next day drunk” so we combined our money and convinced Andy to chug a bottle of ketchup. It was just as disgusting as it sounds. It’s on YouTube if you are really interested. Of course my story of the worst one night stand ever was told. When lunch was over Mary, Andy and I went to his room to nap and the player, Paul, went back to his. The door had not even shut to Andy’s room when he received a text message from Paul requesting that I go to his room so we could have sex. He said he needed to before his game that day and then my one night stand in Vegas actually be worth a shit. Um no thanks! Instead I tried to nap while Andy’s creepy, 40 year old virgin (seriously) roommate tried to give me a back rub. Vegas, you’ve done it again!